The Eulogy for David Hilary Foster-Smith 26th March 2021 by Adrian Hughes First of all some thank yous… Thank you to Simon for taking the service and supporting the family. Both with this funeral and Judy’s last year, and for turning up today on what would be your day off. Thank you Thank you to Emma, with Painters the funeral directors, who have supported the family over Judy’s funeral and this one, handling the Covid rules and regs and accommodating the family’s needs and wishes as sensitively as possible. Hilary, This is all a bit of a surprise today. As you know, Hilary was taken ill just before Christmas, walking himself into the hospital where it soon became apparent that he was not going to recover, but still his going was something of a shock to us all He had commented that it would be very ironic if he and Judy were together again on their 60th Wedding Anniversary… and so it was their wedding anniversary was March 2nd, and of course he died on March 1st at 5.48pm.. It was a little less than a year ago, that we gathered here to celebrate Judy’s funeral - none of us could have thought that a year later we would be here for Hilary’s. I think he would be quietly relieved, not least because we were all aware that the journey of his life was going to become a real struggle. David cared for him wonderfully, but prolonged end-of-life care, as some of you will know is really hard and emotionally challenging. Thank you David for all that you did. I am quietly grateful, that in going to hospital when he did, he was able to come home and we have had a little time to come to terms with things. And since his death on March 1st, we have had some time to gather ourselves before meeting together today. It has enabled us to recover a bit from that shock, and begin to share memories and reflections of this delightful man. Family history For a man devoted to researching family history, Hilary contributed an alarming propensity to confuse either by changing or using different Christian names. Smith had become Foster-Smith in a previous generation, but Hilary was known by more people as David… so for those of you wondering if you are at the right funeral… you probably are! Childhood Hilary had an unusual and rather exotic sounding childhood. Although born in North Wales, his parents lived and worked in South America, as Hilary’s father was an electrical engineer with the gold mines. Hilary’s mother often told the stories of her honeymoon up the Amazon and the amazing things she had seen… especially those creepy things under the bed at night! Their UK family base ended up being Anglesey, where Hilary was born and to which his parents retired. Life shows exotic photos of Hilary standing on the banks of the Panama Canal, holidays at Montego Bay, boarding school in Jamaica. Parts of this, Hilary had loved and he retained a delight in South American music throughout his life. A harsher reality was schooling, boarding schools which you went to in September and did not return from until the following summer. All the boys struggled at one time or another with aspects of this, but Hilary as the older brother was the one who kept a weather eye out for the younger ones. Jonathan has sent through a lovely photo of the brothers, lined up outside the home in Fircroft. It is the second of 4 such photos - the first of the 3 young boys (still on the wall at Llanfoi 2 ), the 3rd taken at Orian’s wedding on that wonderful sunny day in May when the 3 compared their bald heads, and the most recent one taken at Tony’s 80th birthday meal at the Llastra in 2019. It always reminds us of the 1950’s Fry’s 5 boys chocolate advert…. This role of looking out for others, he extended to many of us in the family over the years The engineer Hilary was an engineer, and that is one reason why we picked Psalm 148 for the reading. This is a Psalm for engineers who like things sorted and categorised. The Psalmist points out the sea monsters and all deeps over there; and the fire and hail over here; and the snow and mist in another section - organised, listed.. Hilary left school to begin an apprenticeship. He began working at Joseph Lucas in Acocks Green, as a mechanical engineer aged 16, and spent all of his working life there. He completed his Mechanical Engineering Degree at Aston University, while working. You can always identify an engineer from his garage. And Hilary’s garage was no exception, full of tools and useful bits and pieces. David observed that Hilary had sorted tools out into specific jobs and boxed them accordingly. Helen, Tom and I will always remember our family visit to the Black Country Museum. We lost Hilary near the start of our visit. I found him in the Newcomen Engine Shed, in tears. He was looking at a small electric motor which was now driving the engine and he explained that it was the first job he had been given at Lucas’s - draw that electric motor David…… Whenever he came to visit us in the North East, he came armed with his tool box…. And always asked where the list of jobs was. Usually it was dripping taps! Family In conversation with David, it came to light that Hilary regretted never being able to visit his father at the end of his life due to the pressure of work. However he more than made up for this, as later he was able to care for Uncle Bob and Aunty Ruth, and indeed his mother-in-law with remarkable devotion. Family for Hilary, was always capable of growing and new members were always warmly welcomed … however peculiar we were! Whenever there were fall outs - which does actually happen in the best of regulated families - and so the Foster-Smith’s were no exception; Judy and Hilary never seemed to take sides, but continued to love unconditionally keeping the front door open. Once you were part of the family, he would never let you leave it! Hilary was patient, kind and with quiet consideration was like the glue that held the family together. He was never loud or demonstrative, but always ready to support or counsel, especally to those who were struggling a little bit. Jonathan identified this trait with a poem, The Light house enclosed below. Tennis And there was always tennis. He played tennis as a child, both in Colombia and in Solihull, initially at the Arden Tennis Club. It was a huge feature of his social life as much as a sport to enjoy. He played tennis at school, Anglesey and of course at the West Warwickshire Tennis club. Patrick expressed delight and surprise that his elder brother (who was hopeless at sport at school) had won 2 winning medals from the Over 80s competition at West Warwickshire Tennis Club. He was very fit. A heart episode in his early retirement sent him to the “Cardio gym”, and that along with the tennis kept him exercising 5 days a week… serving him well. We have wonderful family memories of him playing French cricket with Tom in the garden at Belford. He was more agile and flexible than many people his age then - his 70s - and was able to catch the ball quickly and effectively, playing strategically way better than the rest of us!  David Hilary Foster-Smith Hilary had the “common touch”, a friend of all. Engineers you know are not always the most sociable of people, preferring to tinker with nuts and bolts and components than indulge in small talk. But not so Hilary, he spoke quietly to everyone, whatever the occasion and made sure everyone was included. As a family, we have been delighted by the comments from neighbours in the road, recollecting that in walking the dog or going to collect the newspaper he had spoken to them all and was known by them all. Again he was a longstanding member of the Probus club, an association he valued and enjoyed, encouraging others to join in on their retirements. When you put this all together, it isn’t surprising we are all so sad at losing him, but we have a huge amount to say “Thank you” for. What a wonderful gift this man has been to and for us all. I do not expect he ever realised it. .

from Thomas Hughes Just a couple of bits and pieces..... the quiet gentleness around him, always. That was remarkable and i don't think many people have it. You always expected him to break into a a smile, and those bright sparkling eyes when he did was wonderfull.... along with the giggle.

from Thomas Hughes Just a couple of bits and pieces.....his consistent and constant battles with Judy over gluten free food.... Looking back, i can see how careful she was of his diet, but he would break the rules in public! Going out for a meal, we all knew he was going to order prawn cocktail with buttered brown bread, "Oh Hilary, you know you can't eat that" And the twinkly reply would come, " Why not? It's only a small piece "and then the whole conversation would be repeated as he ordered lemon meringue pie for dessert. Sometimes, he was forced back from the edge to eat sorbet!